Four flights in 4 days can you leave you dazed. It certainly left me staggering for some unpretentious attitude, nevertheless. Indian flights define the hallmark of ostentatiously caring for their ‘guests’ while they don’t really give a rat’s ass all the while.
I must admit I’ve secretly cherished ideas of owning an airline that says “Those of you who know how to strap a seat belt on don’t deserve to fly. For the others anyway, it really doesn’t matter. Unless we crash, of course. Tray tables don’t have to be closed, seats don’t have to be brought forward, and least of all, you can keep the damn window shades down the way you want. All we care is you pay a huge service tax on the small fee we’re supposed to charge you. Ogling at air-hostesses is permitted. That’s why we choose the good-looking ones, silly. And no – we don’t stock junky magazines marketing over-priced caps, spoons and how-to-survive-an-air-crash guides. Lastly, yes – the food is stale and we know you like it yet. We’ll try and engage the landing gear on time while you can keep praying there’s a river under you. Bye – and don’t fly Kingfisher anyway.”
While the usual rants are one thing, air hostesses and male aircraft nannies calling themselves flight executives is wholly another irritant. Really, what’s with christening them Pinki, Nena, Mintu and Tina? And I swear – Pinki, my air-hostess on a flight to Delhi two months ago had suddenly transformed into Goldie this evening on my flight from Mumbai to Bangalore!
Here’s maybe how some of these sick carriers could cure themselves – cut out the shit and fly us back home.
P.S : I did Google the window shade thingy. Here’s a funda page that I don’t wholly believe, though – http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=212335
Er...wtever 